That’s about all I have to offer right now…the depth of a puddle. As in times past, its not that I don’t have things going on, just not things I would write about. I could speak of things in code, like about donuts and getting down to the bottom of things, but only a few of you would get that code talk and really I don’t want to do that.
So in the mean time…here are some humorous things to ponder that I read recently by comedian Steven Wright that make me laugh.
-On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet
Earth taken from space. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”
-What’s another word for Thesaurus?
-When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms
with me. I said, “Well, what do you need?”
-Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, “what for?”
-I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it
back.
-I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the
prescription ran out.
-In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often
I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a
woman in Madagascar. She said, “Cut it out.”
-I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it it. Every once
in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have
written that.”
-Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
-I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, “What for?”
I said, “I’m going to buy some sugar.”
-I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance.
-For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier…I put them in the same
room and let them fight it out.
-My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood
kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I’ll throw
it at them.
-My neighbor has a circular driveway…he can’t get out.
-I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s
going to be up all night.
-I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it.
-I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
-Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
